Why Does Christina Ricci Hate Her Breasts?

You know, I’ve always loved me some Christina Ricci… okay, maybe not always. I mean, the whole “Addams Family” thing was a bit weird, but that’s one ugly little freak who grew up to be very hittable. That’s why, when I first heard about this half naked Ricci pic -I was all, “Hell, yes!” but now that I’ve seen it -my penis is very confused.

I’m thinking she needs to get the pressure checked on those bad boys before they just fall right off the rims -you know what I’m saying? I know time is a cruel bitch, but what happened here?

Well, I did the research and apparently Christina Ricci had breast re… redu…. breast reduct… I can’t bring myself to print such vile words, but apparently back in 2001 she underwent a procedure that actually made her boobs SMALLER!

I KNOW, right?

I thought she was looking pretty good in, “Black Snake Moan” but now I am a believer in the wizardry of CGI and the power of slutty attitude after discovering that THIS is the monstrosity she had to have surgically removed from her chest:

…right before having that stupid little bird permanently inked into the sagging flesh of that once glorious boob.

WTF Christina? … and meanwhile guys like Dr. Conrad Murray rot away in some jail cell for killing Michael Jackson, but the doctor who performed this crime against humanity runs free to strangle kittens or whatever it is a madman like that does in his spare time.

IS THERE NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD???